------- Forwarded Message Follows -------

Erap, on his way to the US, decided to stop by the vendo machine by the airport lounge. He drops a few coins and out comes a can of coke.

"Okey ito ha! "He drops a few more coins and out comes a candy bar "Ba, ayos a!" His aide comes over to him and says, "Sir, boarding time na ho sa eroplano!"

Erap: "Wag kang magulo! Hindi mo bang nakikita na nananalo pa ako

----Bwisit!!!"

Finally, he boards the plane with a bag full of coke and chocolate bars. He goes directly into first class. The stewardess
(pinay) was alarmed and tells the Purser, "Sir, the Vice President, Erap is seated in first class. His ticket is only business. What shall we do?"

The purser takes a minute and says, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it". The purser approaches Erap who is fidgeting with his seatbelts.

PURSER: "Good morning ser....saan kayo papunta???

ERAP: "Sa America...bakit?"

PURSER: "Naku ser, sa likod nalang ho kayo umupo at doon ang papunta sa America...dito sa harap ang papuntang Japan!!"

ERAP: "Ah ganoon ba...buti sinabi mo...sige, lilipat na ako!"

Seated between a Japanese and German businessmen, Erap listens to the two. The German, talking in his native language, had on a headgear.

The Japanese asked the German "Kore wa des ka?...what is that?"

German: "Hiel...dezz iz nothing. It iz zee latest technology ien Germany...the headsvone! I am talking to mine headquarters in zee Berlin." The Japanese, not to be outdone, also started talking in his native language. The German asked him, "Vhat is dhat?"

The Jap says proudly, "Ano ne..kore wa is latest Japanese technology in Japan! Have mic implant in tongue...and speaker in ear. I speak to office in Tokyo...neh." ERAP, irked by the two other nationalities started to do a slow and looong fart.

"....TRRRRRRR,TRRRR..PURURUUUUUUUT!"

The two businessmen closing their noses say...."&?%$#@! What's that sound???"

Erap says proudly,"Ah that, that's nothing. I was only sending a fax to the President!"

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