Erap's Acceptance Speech

My countrymen, women and children and also in the city:

The ballots and the penoys have ispoken. I have won by a landscape. I swept the polls hands up. And so...uh...I, Joseph Ejercito, a.k.a. Joseph Estrada, alias Erap, am honorable to the position of your President of the ah...Republic of the Philippines.

As your President, I'll never promise you a rose garden. But I swear, on my word of Aunor, to serve the people as good as it gets. There is no truth to the humor that I am just a puppet... see? no strings attached! how can I be a puppet?...of Danding Cojuangco. But I have 30 advisers me clean out the country. And as former Senator Enrile suggested, I will add 10 more advisers so that you can also call me Ali-Baba. I don't know what that means but it sound good. I will continue the economic program of FVR for Philippines 2000 years from now. So that...uh...everybody, young and old, richer and...uh... poorer, better or worse will have the-ah chance to take advantage of me while I am your President. Because that is my slogan. Erap, Para Mahirap!

I thanks God for making me the 13th president, even though Cardinal Sin did not like me because I am more sinful than him. And I thanks all my fans for their confident in my cuppabilities and intelligent. I know you are taking a big gamble by voting for me but that's okay. I like gambling. There is always a chance. those who do not like me and plan to oppose me, remember: Isang Bala Ka Lang. I thanks you and congratulations to me!

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